Mood Swings? Me? No way......

I know I'm better than this, so this has to stop sometime soon. I gotta start treating things more evenly, as in Andy's "half empty or half full" approach. I have a feeling I'll crash and burn if this continues, and boy would it be ugly.

So I was having one of those nights, where everything seems to not go my way. I talked to a few people, and they helped me get through it better. I was in such a pathetic state that I felt like a ball being kicked around continuously. Suddenly, I found myself the one needed help when before I used to try and help others. I am now the victim, and probably the victim of my own foolish self.

Anyways, so I got up this morning and when with my daily routine. Then luck came right around the corner when I was FINALLY able to transfer into the course I desired. I have been trying for the last 2 weeks everyday, clicking on that damn button 100 times a day, and now I've finally got in. I felt a sort of electric surge, a surge of fulfillment (or maybe excitement) followed by a nice fist pump (very uncharacteristic of me, but it came out naturally). It seemed very different, probably because I have forgotten what happiness felt like. In the span of 12 hours, I went from one side of the spectrum to another (weird, yet a bit frightening...).

Alright, gotta get to class now. Let's see how long I can ride this "high"....

A New Year.....A New Beginning

That's what I want to make myself believe, that the new year will bring new changes and opportunities. But deep down inside I feel this will just be another chapter in my life, not expecting anything special. Ever since the huge rant I did recently, I've gotten a lot a good feedback. It made me realize how fortunate I am to have people who recognize you and support you. I thank them from the bottom of my heart....

I'll try to remember and repeat what you guys have said. I put a lot of emphasis on appearance, and it's a habit I've gotten myself into for the past few years. I made myself believe it was the driving force, and based everything upon it. But it'll take a while for me to convince myself otherwise. The phrase "You learn to love someone" will truly be put to the test in the next few months....

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder" - Or in other words. If they can't see your inner self and worth, then they are probably not for you. One must be able to see through appearance.

"I don't curr" - This is pretty self-explanatory....simple yet effective

"You learn to love someone" - Although it would be difficult for me to believe this at this moment, I surely hope this will come true. I'm betting everything on this.