Better off to make myself scarce

Just when I thought I've reached the bottom, instead I came crashing right through it.

Nothing can describe how I'm feeling right at this moment. In fact I'm having trouble putting it into words. If I said I felt like dirt being kicked around on the ground, I would think it's a lot worse. If I said I feel like stabbing myself to death with a knife, I would think it's even more severe than that. At this moment I have a sudden urge to either start yelling countless expletives out loud or to beat the living crap out of anything I see first. NOTHING IS GOING RIGHT.

I never felt this horrible in my life. I've had some really bad times regarding with personal relationships and such. But this is in a totally different ball park, like "you think this is bad? wait until you see this". Not a good time for this to happen considering exams are right around the corner.

I think the best thing for me to do is to seclude myself in a closed area (my house) and start piecing my mind back together. Since today is my last day at school before exams, I don't have to worry about driving to school etc. I must not forget to get some studying in also or else these next 3 weeks will be a living hell. Don't expect me to post anything new in the next few days, unless some sort of divine intervention happens.

P.S - You can start celebrating now Gray. Start a party with everyone knowing that I'm technically gone for the rest of the term.

BAD Karma

The 1st day of April has come upon us, and boy did it ever made some noise.

I woke up to see a blanket of white snow over my backyard while at the same time I slapped myself silly to see if I was in another world. I was thoroughly disappointed to see low temperatures amidst a hailing snowstorm.

So I started my usual morning drive down Highway 407, watching everything zoom by. I turned on the radio and started hearing accidents piling up on ALL the major highways. I told myself "Great, I hope it's not too bad here". Unfortunately, once I got to the Yonge exit I was hit suddenly by huge morning traffic. So I crawled at a snail's pace, 20 km/h to be exact, all the way to Keele. Over a span of 10 km I went 20 km/h. If you do the math correctly it'll take 30 minutes to cover it, which is exactly how long I was late for my 75 minute morning lecture. Obviously I felt a little embarassed, but I was too angry/tired to even give a damn.

After my morning lectures (I was done for the day), I was even more shocked as more depressing news came about. Renowned Chinese singer/actor Leslie Cheung committed suicide by jumping off from the 24th floor of the Mandarin Oriental Hotel. He left a suicide note and was believed that he was suffering from emotional problems at the time. All in all, it is very depressing to see such a talented star disappear....

It seems evidently clear that the world we live in now is full of uneasiness and sadness. Ever since 9/11 nothing has gone right for this world. The economy is still in a recession, The outbreak of SARS is spreading through Ontario and in HK as well, The war in Iraq speaks for itself, and now Chinese stars are kicking the bucket (Roman earlier with cancer). When will this madness ever end?